Whether this reflects a new trend in lifestyles of the rich and famous we don’t know but helipads are suddenly in vogue around here and the neighbors are understandably disquieted.
First was former pro hoopster Matt Geiger who wanted to build one on the grounds outside his palace off Old Keystone Road in North Pinellas. The county denied his application for a conditional-use permit after a horde of nearby commoners objected. He may appeal.
Now it’s mega-car dealer Ernie Haire who plans to ask Hillsborough County for permission to build a helipad on his Odessa property (which lies just a few miles southeast of the Geiger compound). His neighbors aren’t pleased either.
Why a retired basketballer and a guy who made a fortune selling ground vehicles require so much air mobility is a mystery to us but they seem to think it’s important. We sympathize with their neighbors who would rather not see their pastoral neighborhoods play the role of village in a remake of “Apocalypse Now.”
But commuting by air is incredibly cool, especially if you’ve got more money than you know how to spend and a passion for getting noticed. Come on, admit it. If you had more money than God, you’d want to put a helipad in your backyard, too, and a big old jet-powered chopper to land and take off in, too.
Because we’re also sympathetic to whims of the ultra-rich, we’ve devised a compromise. It’s an idea that could pacify the neighbors, make Haire super ultra rich, gratify Geiger’s ego and ultimately enable more of us to live like the Jetsons, just as God intended.
Yes, we’re talking about flying cars - again.
Imagine, if you will, a not-so-distant future when we climb into our cars and go and stop and go and stop and go to the recently widened, yet still clogged, 40-lane intersection of SR 56 and Bruce B. Downs Blvd. That’s where the brand new Ernie Haire Moller showroom is holding its grand opening.
Geiger, who signed a promotional deal with the company, is there signing autographs next to his very own M400 Skycar, which he flew over from the compound. Awestruck by the combined effects of cool technology and celebrity presence, dozens of us line up outside the sales office to place orders for our own M400s. Personal transportation is forever changed.
A stupid fantasy? Not necessarily. Did you know that NASA has already helped develop something called SATS, which stands for Small Aircraft Transportation System? This thing is just waiting for the day when a whole lot of us are buzzing around the sky in personal aircraft and in need of effective air-traffic control to keep us from crashing into each other.
And if we aren’t flying around in Moller M400s, we might be using this, this, this, or this.
Come on, Ernie. Helicopters are so five minutes ago. Get with the program.